Re: FN# 3:draft#1:Conflict between boys

Submit: Post Field Note
VisitDate: 00/00/96
Collaborative: Selected
Informal: Selected
Date: 31 Oct 1996
Time: 20:02:02
Remote Name:



Victor, 11yrs., Filogono, 9 yrs.


On Monday at Barrios Unidos, I was checking out some of the different programs, because I realized I didn't know too much about them. I was watching Victor play with the Lion King puzzles. He played for a while, then got bored and said he didn't want to play anymore. I said that was fine and then looked around to see if anyone looked like they might want something to do. I saw Filogono and asked if he wanted to play. I get along well with him and like to hang out with him because he's a hard worker and he helps me with my spanish. Anyway, he said he wanted to play the Lion King program. As we walked over, Victor came and sat down in front of the Lion King program. An argument ensued. Victor wanted to play now, but I had just told Filogono that he could. I tried to reason with Victor, but he wouldn't listen to me. Filogono looked upset. Victor wouldn't stop playing the game.

I finally got them to agree to share. When Victor was done with the puzzle, it was Filogono's turn. While Filogono played, Victor left to play on another computer til it was his turn. They didn't sit at the computer together. There seemed to he some hard feelings between them and I wasn't sure how to smooth things out.


This just made me think about how we've been talking in class about how boys tend to be more competitive than girls, and less likely to work collaboratively. I think that the girls who come are usually more cooperative, but I'm not sure. I'll have to try to observe this. I don't think I dealt with the conflict very well. It seemed out of my hands. It was hard to get them to discuss because they weren't really listening to me. They pretty much resolved the conflict on their own. Victor refused to leave the computer before he had finished the puzzle. This was frustrating and unfair for Filogono. However, in the end, they did have to share. I think learning to share is a very difficult thing because it doesn't come naturally. Hopefully, they learned that they can't always have thier way. On my part, I learned more about what to do when kids are in conflict. I think next time I might be prepared to facilitate a discussion and get them to talk about how they're feeling and what they are thinking. I see now that it's important for them to come up with a solution themselves, instead of telling them what to do. If I treat them with respect, hopefully they'll act in a manner which deserves respect.


I wonder, if boys are more competitive, why is this? These are pretty young kids. Have they already been socialized into gender specific roles? Should we encourage the boys to work more collaboratively?